Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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