I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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