Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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