I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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