Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
