As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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