She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
