he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
