Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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