I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
