Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
