Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's never too late to be topless.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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