i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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