I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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