Someone shit on the floor
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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