look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
