i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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