Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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