I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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