I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize