it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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