Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
