WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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