Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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