i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
