Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
