Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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