How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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