we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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