Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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