Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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