with your own penis?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
