Too much gin, very little bucket
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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