i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize