Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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