Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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