I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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