Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
