I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
