Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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