Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
