Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
