You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
