You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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