I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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