Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I cannot find my penis.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
