Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
