how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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