she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
