And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
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I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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