The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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