dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
