Just cropdusted the office
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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