do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
