And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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