I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
