i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
