I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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