He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
